The Cost of Friendship: Worth More Than Money

Friendship is a strange thing. One minute, you're joking and teasing about money; the next, you're caught in a web of guilt, wondering if you've crossed the line with a joke.

I had a conversation that got me reflecting on how people view the financial inequality in friendships. 

We started with some good-natured joking; I joked that I was so broke I couldn't treat anyone. I meant it as a joke, something to ease the silence. Instead, I began noticing how money-related jokes could steer the conversation anywhere but forward.

The teasing had been mutual at first. I had said my wallet was on life support, and then my friend taunted me about my phone being paid up and me bathing in fresh milk (which, by the way, is just completely untrue). But somehow the energy shifted. The light-hearted teasing was gone, and it became awkward, and now all of a sudden, the guilt was setting in, and my friend was apologizing as if something terrible had been said.

Then it occurred to me: why is so much emphasis placed on money in these situations? Money ought never to come in the way of relationships, but for some reason, it always does. 

To be genuine, friendship is about being there for one another, being present, and walking through priceless moments together-something money cannot do.

I came to understand that, on a subconscious level, some amends the light-hearted comments. There was an unwritten pressure attached to the mention of money differences. Guilt-ridden becomes some people, while some feel the obligation to make excuses, and others like me use humor as a coping mechanism. 

Friendship really cannot be transactional. It is not a condition for genuine friendship that friends pay for one another; it cannot be weighed by what material things they are able to give. No doubt, if I had all the money in the world, I would spoil my friends, but not because I have to but because I want to.

Friendships thrive, at the end of all things, on understanding and not materialism. So remember, when next you're in such a situation: You don't owe your friend anything fancy, just loyalty. If you slip of a joke not meant to offend, know that real friendships are tough enough to take a bit of laughter-even at your expense.